I’ve been working out fairly consistently and eating healthier all year. I’m trying to build better habits, be stronger and fitter and lose some weight.
This is something I’ve tried to do so many times, but this time I decided to take a slower and more sustainable approach. No intense meal plan or workout routines. Instead, I’m prioritising mindful eating and movements, eating what I enjoy in reasonable portions and doing exercises that I enjoy. So far, so good.
The only issue is that at some point, I found myself in the “In-Between”. That phase where you’re on the path to somewhere but you haven’t arrived there yet. You know you’re going to get there if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, but you currently don’t have an ETA and your destination isn’t in sight yet.
For me right now, it looks like this: I know I’m going to lose weight based on my exercise routine and my current diet. I’ve already lost some inches around my waist and am generally leaner. It’s not yet significant enough though, and I haven’t dropped a dress size yet.
Right now I need new clothes. I found myself wondering if I should wait until I lose more weight before buying the clothes I need. My rationale was, “I’m going to lose weight soon, what’s the point of buying new clothes that I’d have to let go of? Wouldn’t it be a waste of money?” So I’ve sort of stalled all summer, and not gotten what I need, but here’s the thing, I still need new clothes. I’m still exercising, still eating better, but I haven’t lost significant weight yet.
It’s easy to think like me when you’re in the in-between. Easy to put your life on pause while you wait for something to happen. As a person of faith, it’s also easy to subtly fall into this trap. Easy to be so focused on what you’re waiting on God for that you forget to inhale, exhale and live. You’re alive but not living. Simply trapped in existing until that which you’re expecting comes. The thing is, this is not a good way to live.
I had to examine those thoughts with God’s help I realised they were faulty. I had to choose to live in the present. I’ve decided to buy the clothes that I need in my size right now, and trust that when I need new clothes, the Lord will provide me with enough money to buy them. I am deciding to trust that as a child of God, I am well provided for in every season, and I don’t have to deprive myself of what I need right now because I’m trying to ensure my future self will be well taken care of. When I lose weight, I’ll buy new clothes and let go of what doesn’t fit. I am embracing the present, and doing what I have control over and what needs to be done in the present, even while making efforts to improve my body for the future.
It sounds simple right? In reality it often doesn’t seem that simple. It’s easier to just pause and wait for that magical thing that will transform your life, but the thing is, life is lived in the everyday and in the seeming mundane. The big breaks we look forward to, project us forward but we still have to live before they come.
Last year, I knew God wanted me to move, and I assumed that I would get my visa within a specific time frame. In reality, it took much longer than I expected, and I didn’t know exactly when it was going to come. I realised that I had subconsciously started to live a suboptimal life because “I’m moving soon anyway”. One day I just thought to myself, “You know what? This visa is going to come but you don’t know exactly when so until then live an optimal life”. That decision changed a lot for me. I did things that made my life easier. Hired help. Went for brunch with my friends. LIVED. When the visa came, I was glad that I made those decisions because the entire process took much longer than I had anticipated.
On the flip side, in my first apartment, I didn’t do much decorating or personalisation because I felt like I could move to a new apartment at any time, so what was the point? Well I ended up living there for like 12 months, and could definitely have done some things to spruce it up. The time passed anyway, but my experience in that apartment and my memories of and in it could have been way better.
I’ve resolved to live life in the present. To do what I can, with what I have even as I anticipate a better future and work to change the things that need improvement.
Pregnant women don’t stop living because they’re expecting a baby. They plan for the baby’s arrival, make room for the new addition, but their lives aren’t on pause.
I’m reminded of God’s words to the Israelites in exile through Prophet Jeremiah:
This is what the LORD of Hosts, the God of Israel, says to all the exiles who were carried away from Jerusalem to Babylon: “Build houses and settle down. Plant gardens and eat their produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters. Take wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Multiply there; do not decrease. Seek the prosperity of the city to which I have sent you as exiles. Pray to the LORD on its behalf, for if it prospers, you too will prosper.”For this is what the LORD of Hosts, the God of Israel, says: “Do not be deceived by the prophets and diviners among you, and do not listen to the dreams you elicit from them. For they are falsely prophesying to you in My name; I have not sent them, declares the LORD.”
For this is what the LORD says: “When Babylon’s seventy years are complete, I will attend to you and confirm My promise to restore you to this place. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore you from captivity and gather you from all the nations and places to which I have banished you, declares the LORD. I will restore you to the place from which I sent you into exile.”- Jeremiah 29:4-14
The Israelites were in exile, and it would have been easy for them to put their lives on pause because they lived in a pagan country. The Lord told them to settle down and LIVE in the land of exile until their time there was up. The 70 years of exile were to be spent productively and not in languishing.
So, maybe you don’t need to do “know what to do”, or do anything major in fact, maybe you just need to live in the present and do the next simple thing.